Vermont Trip: Family

Here are some family pictures from our trip to Vermont.

Alan did all the driving:

The rest of us played car bingo:

Samantha looked all cute and cuddly on the porch Chez Donahey:

James got pretty comfy at our hotel:

Goofy kids riding the elevator down to...

...waffles! Every morning!!

Superboy headed downstairs to the pool:

Sam and Helen joined us for a swim:

Too soon, we had to pack up to head home:

On our way, we stopped at a historic covered railroad bridge to eat lunch and take some potential Christmas card photos:

Surprise! We're in Vermont!

Spontaneous travel is not really our thing, so it's kind of a big deal that I am blogging from a hotel room in Vermont.  Another thing I'm not usually very good at is pulling off surprises, so it's also a big deal that our trip had an ulterior motive AND we pulled it off without a hitch.

About two weeks ago, Alan and I were having one of, like, thirteen summer logistical planning conversations to date involving running plans, kids camps, my vacation time, tenting in Acadia, etc during which we decided to forgo our usual Memorial Day house-party  with "the gang" [thanks for understanding, guys: we hope you had a great weekend!] and instead drive to Vermont to:

a) visit my sister (Helen), brother-in-law (Rich), and niece/god-daughter (Samantha) who frequently come to Maine and often suggest we go see them and

2) surprise my friend/running mentor Emilie of onemominmaine by showing up to cheer for her at the Vermont City Marathon.

So...we carefully made our plans and giggled about them with several mutual friends.  We shot emails back and forth with Helen, got an awesome hotel rate thanks to her work, scoped out marathon info and running routes on GoogleEarth, packed a giant bag of road snacks, made more trips to WalMart in 3 days than we have in 3 months, and crafted "Go Emilie!" posters.

We got on the road Friday morning--later than we had planned, but we had also allowed more travel time than we really needed, so we still arrived in beautiful St. Albans, VT in time for dinner at Hoss' Dogg House, a tiny roadside stand with the BEST FRIES ON THE PLANET.  Then it was off to the hotel for reading aloud (we're working our way through Arthur Ransome's Swallows and Amazons series) and a good night's sleep.

 On Saturday, after an awesome hotel breakfast featuring waffles you make yourself with the flip-over waffle iron built right into the counter, we met up with Helen & Sam at the local Farmer's Market where Nancy had an orange tea cake that was heavenly. After that, Alan and Nancy went running but that's going to be a separate post, partly because we have to go back tomorrow to take pictures of where we ran, for posterity. Later, we had dinner at Helen's, then it was back to the hotel and early to bed.

Sunday (today), we got up early and drove to Burlington to see Emilie.  Here is the picture that sums up her reaction to seeing us at several points throughout the course, screaming her name insanely. She definitely did not expect to see us and this shot is totally "Wait, what?! Why are you here??"

Further explanation to follow in a future post.  After watching 3600 people run a marathon, I'm a little ashamed to say it, but I'm exhausted.  And everyone else is snoring, so that's all for tonight!

Frederick G. Jones: October 5, 1938-May 15, 2010

My post about Fred has been a long time coming--I've formulated several versions in my head over the last few weeks--but grief, I've learned, is truly a process, and I guess I needed to come out the other side before I could commit my feelings here.  Of course, doing so now is yet another part of my grieving process, so please bear with me if I wax overly poetic...

Fred Jones was an accomblished and beloved teacher, musician, scholar and so much more to so many people. I was fortunate enough to meet him when I was 11 years old. (read: young, impressionable, awkward, lacking confidence and direction). After my parents, he was the single strongest influence on my development as human being. He taught me to sing, understand, and truly appreciate choral music in the Anglican tradition. He also taught me about architecture, archaeology, spirituality, religious history and traditions, music theory, british history, and more. He taught me the value and true power of committment, hard work, love, patience, respect, integrity, knowledge and understanding. He provided a model example of how to live a worthy life.


I wrote him a letter for his 25th anniversary/retirement from St. John's and when I found a copy of it a few days after he died, I was deeply relieved to be reminded that I had actually put my feelings for him into words and that he had read and understood them fully. I am comforted by the thought that he knew I loved him and how much, even though we didn't talk about it much. I regret that we hadn't really talked recently. I wish I had had the chance to tell him about my new-found running hobby, which is really the latest stage of my development into a stronger, more passionate human being with a slightly better understanding of her place in the world. I have been thinking of him often while I run, and hope that he will check in every now and then to watch my progress.

I have all sorts of imaginings about where he is now and what he might be doing in his personal Valhalla. Pubs are involved, and a guided tour through ancient times to answer at long last the mysteries of the ancient Celts (by this time, he's the one giving the tours saying "it's just a short walk to Silbury Hill where..."). I also imagine him shaking hands with my high school English teacher, Nancy Gilles, who will say something dry and sarcastic about how much cancer stinks, and at least he didn't have to go through the long battle she did, and "Really? They haven't beaten that #*$%#* yet?!?"

Fred leaves a legacy of former Bapst students and former choristers and, of course, the choir itself.  Last Saturday, St. John's was overflowing with people and their love for Fred, for learning and for making music.  The choir was packed like sardines with an extra person in every row and two-apiece on the alter rail cushions.  Rehearsal the Thursday prior was also well-attended and despite the circumstances there was such a feeling of comeraderie and mutual affection that for a few moments it felt like "the old days" when the choir was in its hay-day and we all worked hard, but the music just flowed....  I took a certain pride in representing the continuum of Fred's 30 years at St. John's: there were two of us singing up there of the five original girls choir members.  It was really good to reconnect with Amy and so many others.

The week between Fred's death and his memorial service was a truly bizarre experience for me.  The telephone grapevine spread the news on Saturday night.  On Sunday, a brief service was held in the chapel for choir members before we warmed up to sing the regular 10am service.  It was heart-wrenching and re-opened the flood-gate of tears but did help us all pull it together a bit to do the work we needed to do.  We sang Call to Remembrance as an introit before processing and I felt better having offered that up to him.  The rest of the service contained music that was largely--blissfully--free of Fred connotations. Throughout the rest of the week, I spent more time on Facebook than ever before (which isn't saying much because I rarely get on fb).  Several groups had popped up where people shared (originally) ideas to help Fred and his family, and (later) memories and notes of sympathy.  I created an event to invite former choristers to come sing with us and share logistical info.  The most amazing thing about reading all these comments and replies was the list of reasons why people could not attend: new-born twins, a baby on the way, great distances such as Honolulu, West Africa, London, California, and jobs that could not be walked away from easily.  And many people came despite these things.  All this was truly a testament to Fred's far-reaching influence and the deep impressions he made on so many.  I'm calling the communications of that week "e-grieving" and they were strangely personal, frank and heartfelt, considering the media.

The memorial service was difficult, but it was also beautiful and I felt proud of how we honored Fred.  The program was filled with perfect quotes and readings and I will write more about those when I remember to bring the booklet home from my cubby at church.  I definitely need to read up on Fred's favorite authors, and also on Fred himself.  His book arrived in the mail last Friday and I've only browsed it thus far. During the service I felt like I was re-experiencing my whole life in waves: I was a child singing with my childhood friends, I was a young woman being married in the church, and I was a mother comforting her children.

There are so many more things that I've been feeling and thinking and just don't have the energy to write about just now.  It's been draining these last few weeks.  Meanwhile, here are links to the obituary, and a beautiful article in the BDN that Meg Haslett interviewed me for (or was that a therapy session?).

Animal Orphanage 5K

The weekend after the Healthy High, the Marks family decided to be spontaneous.  James and Madeline were really revved up to get involved in this whole fitness obsession and we really wanted to encourage that enthusiasm.  So, we skipped church (sorry, Mother Rita! sorry, choir!) and attended the Animal Orphanage walk/run in Old Town.  It was a great cause and a fun event that included participants of all shapes, sizes, and paces, canine as well as human.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alan ran the course and shaved 16 seconds off his time from Tuesday. Yay Daddy!

I walked it with James and Madeline (Nana Mary went shopping and met us at the finish).   J and M were so jazzed up by the whole atmosphere and by having race bibs pinned to their shirts which made it really fun for me, too.  They both worked hard to walk at a good clip and we only stopped once early on to dump the water out of their bottles (too heavy and one was leaking).  They were getting tired about 3/4 of the way through, but Madeline, in particular, kept her chin up and spouted affirmations like "I can do this!" to keep herself motivated.  I was so proud of them and--even better--they were proud of themselves.  Here's an action shot:

And here's the four of us savoring the moment (Jeremy took the picture!):

Catching Up: Finally a Post About The Music Man

On April 9, 10 and 11, all three Marks children performed in The Music Man Junior at Next Generation Theatre.

They had a fantastic time going to rehearsals twice a week starting in January and hanging out, laughing, dancing, singing and acting with a great bunch of kids ranging from age 6 to about 14.  The directors and choreographer were in their late teens--vibrant, fun, talented and super-enthusiastic.  You just couldn't ask for better role models than these.  The kids made new friends and learned what it means to put up a real show from start to finish.  I think they really get that live theatre is something bigger than the sum of its parts.

Jeremy played one of the townspeople and a member of the boys band.  Per the actors, he was the darling of the cast,  and he had us in stitches with some wardrobe difficulties the first night (at least he had his underwear, though, which is more than we can say for the dress rehearsal!).

Madeline played Gracie Shinn, the mayor's youngest daughter.  She endured hot rollers for three days in a row and a giant pink bow in her hair.  She knew her lines, her songs, and her choreo cold from early on and just glowed on stage.

James played Charlie Cowell, the anvil salesman bent on revealing Harold Hill's scam.  He worked hard to learn a couple very difficult speeches, while the Rock Island song at the opening of the show was apparently a piece of cake.  But the really big deal was getting fake-kissed by Marion!

They all did great and we truly enjoyed watching the shows.

The cast party at the end was a sea of red tee-shirts, sharpies and more cupcakes than I've ever seen in one room in my life.  They would wear those shirts every night and every day if we let them.

A Blog Post Longer Than the Race It's About

As is her custom, Emilie has blogged expertly about this event already (and much more succinctly), so first (or instead!) you may want to read her post here. 

What she didn't tell you is that I was a pile of raw nerves, keyed up and twitchy all day long.  Having to go to work (not to mention worry about the next day's Administrative Professionals Day event that I organized for my IAAP chapter) is not really something I would recommend doing on the day of your first ever road race, or any other race for that matter.  I guess that's why most of them take place on weekend mornings.

As with many exciting events, much of this one seems to be a blur now, but here are some of the things that stand out for me:

Repeated trips to the bathroom all afternoon, partly because I was dutifully drinking water, partly because I also slammed a cokelet (that's an 8oz coca-cola--about the closest I get to any unhealthy sort of high), but mostly because my stomach was doing flip-flops for several hours straight.  Fortunately, everything settled down by the time I got dressed and ready to stretch.

Jenn calling me at work twice to say how proud she was of me and that she was definitely coming and running with us.

That crazy Maine weather being, well, crazy! Between surprisingly successful attempts to accomplish work-like things at work, I was frequently distracted by the view out my big gorgeous windows. First: Sun and warmth on raceday morning!  But later: Rain pouring down in sheets! But then: Sunny again! And oddly: Sunny AND raining at the same time!  But, as if the ether was just having sympathetic intestinal issues, it, too, eventually settled down to perfect breezy race weather.

Emilie showing up and being all complimentary and supportive with the double stroller full of tragically bored children even though she got off a plane from Salt Lake City, what? 10 hours earlier or something ridiculous like that?  And then ran the course "just for fun"!  Who does that?!?  Oh, yeah, Emilie does that.  She rocks.

Alan, looking and behaving all calm and cool before and after (I really didn't see him during...).  He reminded me to stretch and breathe and get my tunes ready and told me to put my jacket in my locker because I wouldn't need it (so true!) and used his height advantage to spot people we knew in the throng of be-sneakered co-eds.  And he let me be the center of attention because he's done this sort of thing before [25 years ealier, Alan reminds me], but he also ran a great race and had a great time and was proud just to have (barely) beaten Emilie and her 80+ pounds of cargo to the finish.

Everyone just surging forward at the silent start (we couldn't actually hear anything but I guess someone said "go!").  You know that feeling when you're in a car at a red light and the car next to you starts moving forward and it feels like you're moving backward when you're really just standing still?  Well I was moving forward, but everyone else was going so much faster that I still felt like I was going backward.  I had ABBA's the Name of the Game on my mp3 and I just ran in time to the music 'cause I know that's my pace and I told myself that a bunch of those people sprinting down Rangely Road were going to get winded soon and I just might pass them Tortoise-and-Hare style. 

The little boy bolting past me who couldn't have been much more than three and me starting to question my previous smugness.

Lapping the dwindling toddler and a few other people and feeling a teensy bit justified.

Feeling good on Park Street, waving to family and friends on our lawn, hearing my kids cheering for me, and Mum saying something unintelligible, but I guess it didn't matter.  And then thinking I had to at least keep running past the corner while they could still see me.

Restarting the Name of the Game until I couldn't stand it anymore and finally fumbling around for the Last of the Mohicans soundtrack.
Total strangers (including frat boys) enthusiastically cheering for me at random points along the way when I was pretty much by myself so I know it was me and not someone else.

Starting to suck wind a ways down College Ave and finally giving in to walk a little bit now and then.  But I revved it up for the hill by Alfond (where the preponderance of paper cups indicated that many others stopped for water and walked the hill, the wusses) and managed to get halfway across the parking lot before giving in again. 

Remebering at the last minute to sprint up the hill at the very end and finding it easy with the people I love cheering me on.
End result: I was number 308 (out of over 400 we think) to cross the finish and did it in about 37 minutes. 
Alan was #283 and about 32 minutes.
I don't even know where Jenn landed (waaaay ahead of us both).

Catching Up: Easter

Here are a mess o' pix from Easter, including the egg hunt and Mr. Bunny himself at church, enjoying Easter toys in the van (yes, those are mini Rock'em Sock'em Robots) and the big family dinner at home.

Confidence and Control

One of the appealing things for me about this whole running adventure has been the ability to take control of something, and something big and meaningul at that.  I do very well at being organized, motivated, and on top of things...in a controlled setting.  I have not achieved that "controlled setting" at my house.  I have hope that I will get there, eventually, one messy corner at a time.  Or rather, that we will get there as a family.  But meanwhile, running is a sort of sub-set of my life that I've been able to keep manageable.  I make it a priority (Alan has helped a lot with that), I'm obsessive about reading and research and tracking my progress, and I'm enjoying all my little achievements along the way. 

Given all this, I was kind of freaking out about how soon my first road race is coming up.  The original plan was to do a 6K in mid-May, so I had to scramble a bit to prepare for a 5K a month earlier.
But Monday's run was really good.  I had done 2.8 miles outdoors on Saturday, but I walked several sections of it and generally felt overwhelmed.  It was only my third time running outside and I'm still learning to negotiate traffic and terrain and cool air in my lungs and wind in my face.  My training schedule said I needed to run 3 miles on Monday, so I hit the track after work determined to go the distance and to run as much of it as possible.  Being inside the beautiful rec center probably helped me, as did the coke I had in the afternoon, but I think the biggest difference was my mp3 player.  I had found earlier in my training that I could only handle music if the beat perfectly matched my running (and breathing) tempo; otherwise it was way too distracting and fiddling around trying to find a good song was near impossible while I was still trying to remind myself to breathe.  This time around I did land on a couple songs that happened to match my pace, but I was also able to keep my pace when the music didn't match, as long as it was upbeat and fun.  So I listened to ABBA the whole time and the laps sailed on by!  In the end I decided I could do 3 miles AND the extra bit to make it a 5K, but I also got a little giddy and temporarily forgot how many miles that is, so I did 3.2!  My time was 38:33 which is pretty much exactly my usual 12 minute mile.  I felt really proud of myself and did a little happy dance in the locker room when no one was looking.  I'm still nervous that I will fall apart on race day when I am a) outdoors and b) over-excited, but I do know for certain that I am capable of running the entire distance (plus a tenth!).  So my plan is to set my pace, stick to it, and constantly remind myself Obama-style that YES I CAN!  I should download "Confidence" from the Sound of Music.  Ooh! another milestone: I'm thinking about a running playlist!!

On a related note, I recently read a wonderful and simple definition of how we gain self-esteem:

"Self esteem expands when we accomplish things that take effort and have value for us."

Not only does this explain why 3.2 makes me dance in the locker room, but I think this will be great insight for raising happy, capable children, particularly as Madeline launches into that dreaded pre-teen girl territory.

Getting back to next week's race, though, I have much more immediate concern:
What to wear?!?  I also desperately need a haircut [I'm serious, Alan: get out the clippers!] and I have a nail appointment on Saturday.  I'm thinkin' Flo-Jo... for the fingers, though, not the wardrobe!

Any thoughts?? 

The Starting Line Looms (a running update)

I haven't been blogging about it lately, but we have been running!

Alan has been doing very well.  He did 7.5 miles in an hour and a half a couple days ago and lived to tell the tale.  He's also been tracking all his stats on an extensive Excel spreadsheet and driving around clocking the miles of various routes.  He recently determined that a Half Marathon is equal to running from our house to Cascade Park in Bangor and back.  I wish he hadn't told me that.

Meanwhile, I have been hiting the Rec Center 3 days a week, adding laps a little at a time.  So almost every run is a new first for me. Today I ran 2.6 miles!  I, too, track all my stats in an elaborate Excel spreadsheet, except mine is set up like a calendar and it also counts down the weeks til MDI and adds up how many times I go to the gym (I'll get a discount on my next renewal if I go often enough) and is generally more aesthetically pleasing than Alan's.

But the big news is that we have chosen our road race debut and it's only 20 DAYS AWAY!!

We're registered for the Healthy High 5K sponsored by the Alcohol and Drug Education Program at the University.  It takes place at 4:20 on 4/20 (a reference to cannibus culture). (No, I didn't know that, I had to look it up). Conveniently the race starts and ends at the Rec Center (which is across the street from my office).  The route circles campus, passing our house and my parents' house before returning to campus via the (uphill) entrance by Alfond Arena.  Did I mention that my office is in a building called "Hilltop"? Yikes!  Also, did I mention that I have yet to run outdoors??  I'm hoping to try that for the first time next week.

So, I'm a little freaked out about our first race coming up so soon, but I'm also excited to really begin my running life.  Anyone want to join us?? I'd also really love it if people came and cheered us on.  It's just a little race in our own backyard, but it's a very big deal to me.

Welcome the New Addition

or

Out With the Old, In With the Previously Owned

All went well with our weekend long test drive and (more importantly) the financing for our sudden acquisition of a new used vehicle.  On Monday evening we dropped the kids at Music Man rehearsal and went to sign the paper work and finalize our trade-in. 

James wrote a note to the old Windstar:

And we said "Hello Sienna"!

In case you're wondering, although the kids requested such colors as purple or RED! (not red, but RED!), we apparently had a choice of silver, silver, or possibly silver.  Naturally, we defied all trends and opted to replace our silver minivan with a silver minivan. 

We're so wild. 

I Had a Dream...

...that one day--on a day or our choosing--we would trade in our minivan for a newer, cleaner, nicer, more modern minivan.

...that one day--on a day of our choosing--we would do consumer investigating as to the make, model and year of minivan we would want and might be able to afford.

...that one day--on a day of our choosing--we would get a babysitter and go test drive minivans of the makes and models we had researched and probably laughingly call it "date night".

...that one day--on a day of our choosing--we would fork over hard-earned savings set aside for the down payment for our new minivan....

And then I woke up to the reality of a radiator leak.

As Alan puts it, "the button popped out on the turkey to let us know that it's DONE".  And so our weekend turned into emergency vehicle shopping.  This time, we could at least drive the vehicle we wished to trade (which was NOT the case the last time around), although we did enjoy the lovely aroma of burning anti-freeze all afternoon. 

We DID manage to farm the kids out to three separate adult-supervised locations on Saturday and spent several hours test-driving two vans, talking with sales people, getting CarFax reports, and making logistical telephone calls regarding said vehicles and child care arrangements (mostly the latter). 
Also, I had done a bunch of research a few months back so we did have some ideas about what we did and didn't want.  However, we really wanted to test drive a Honda Odyssey but apparently--due to the recent recall--you CAN'T test drive them, and won't be able to for a month or so, so I guess we didn't want one of those anyway! 

In the end we managed to commandeer a strong contender--a 2006 Toyota Sienna--for a weekend long test drive.  Margo is one smart sales lady: she might as well have put a kitten in our hands and dared us not to fall in love.  Despite Toyota's recent "media activity", we've heard many good things about the company and the Sienna in particular, so we're feeling pretty good about this.



Meanwhile, our smelly old Windstar (which served us well until the end) is sitting at Linnehan's in Brewer with nothing in it except two gallons of water, a jug of anti-freeze and hardly any gas in the tank. 

On Monday we'll see what they came up with for financing (we're hoping for something good since Alan's old college buddy works in the loan department!).  Most likely the "kitten" will have found a home.

My new dream?
Of a minivan that remains free of french fries and cheerio's and melted crayons and trash...

Alan says that's pretty ambitious.

Procrastaccomplishing

Verb. 

1. The fine art of accomplishing minor achievements while putting off doing other (more important or pressing) tasks.

Example:  Nancy, shamelessly procrastaccomplishing, caught up on her blog, although she herself had proclaimed a family-wide cleaning day.

Madeline's 10th Birthday--The Jungle Party

Started this post weeks ago and am only just now getting around to adding the photos [which for some reason is an extremely frustrating process involving windows shutting down on me every 10 seconds while I'm trying to upload photos.  AAAAAaaahhhHG!]...

We decorated the family room with jungle vines, leaves, tropical flowers and every jungle-dwelling stuffed animal in the house.  The tablecloth had vines drawn all over it.  The cake was covered in fondant leaves, and  James, Nancy and "Aunt" Stacy transformed all the kids into jungle creatures using face paints.

Jeremy's 6th Birthday--the WALL*E Party

I'm finally catching up, so here's a post about the fabulous WALL*E themed party.

[If you haven't seen the movie, you should.  I don't care who you are or how old or how young or where you live....you should see this movie.  It's adorable and charming and quirky and cute and manages to let you feel hopeful even while leaving you more than a little uncomfortable about how much garbage you put by the curb last Friday. Also it helps to be in on all the little details.  One family came to the party and later told us "We rented WALL*E last night and the kids really 'get' the party now."]

The Cake in early stages of construction (note the nutty bar "treads"):

The Cake finished. Note that Nancy braved fondant.  Also the eyes are binoculars, the neck and arms are carboard covered with fondant.  Everything else is (was) edible (and therefore eaten):

The Cake WALL*E in all his glory surrounded by cuttings the kids planted in boots [not only does the precious little bean plant get carted around in a boot for the whole movie, but this also furthers the recycling theme since our boots came from the Good Will and the plant cuttings were from a friend at the office whose ivies needed trimming]:
















We made craft foam collages:

We played "Pin the Cockroaches on WALL*E"  (Hi Sonia!):

The Marks children decorated a tablecloth with all the characters from the movie (here are some of my personal favorites):

Here is Jeremy opening presents with some of his entourage looking on:

Also featured at the party: smoothies in Buy N Large cups, favor boxes that looked like little lunch coolers with rubber duckies in them, and Twinkies (which our kids had never before experienced)!

It was a fun party and it was great to have several parents plus Aunt Tacy, Nana Mary and Sara & Ed Ferguson on hand to enjoy the festivities and help with the activities.

Finally, a special gift was a new quilt from Nana Mary.  It matches last year's CARS theme which is still very much a Jeremy favorite (as you can see from the coordinating outfit).   The smile is fake, but the joy is genuine! 

Jury Room

Please come see my play!

It's part comedy, part drama, and very entertaining.

Opening weekend went really well--a few fumbles but the whole ensemble worked through it together so the audience hardly knew. 

What an amazing bunch of cast-mates!  They are all so professional and a ton of fun to hang out with.

This weekend is going to be incredible!!

And don't you like the poster I made?

Life, Un-caffeinated

Mommy is cranky.
Mommy is stressed.
Mommy is largely non-functional.

Mommy is a good Christian who gave up Coca-Cola for Lent.

Yay to Mommy for setting such a good example for her family.


Daddy?? When will it be Easter?????

First Mile[stone]

Today I ran ONE WHOLE MILE--ten laps around the track, consecutively!!!

My first mile ever.

Before today, the most I'd run in one stretch was two laps.

I think I was inspired because I ran into Emilie & Co. on the way in to the Rec Center.
I was so proud of myself afterward that I considered showing up on the pool deck and shouting "Hey Emilie, I ran my first mile!" but I thought this might be embarassing for everyone involved (after all, I work here...) so I took a shower instead and skipped across the street and back to my office feeling really good about myself.

8-)